a barrier between us and the snakes

11:28am: frantically trying to find a copy of the book because I want so badly to see the movie...

12:28pm: hell yes english major.

11:36am: to coda
this is from a few weeks ago.  I like it.  also, for those of us in the MSP, it was written *before* the 35W bridge collapse.






p.s. livejournal is messing with my formatting.  those parts that look like they ought to be lined up are in fact lined up.

10:38am: how long has it been? it has been two years.

12:24am: in re: those things we always said we'd do


move to california
backpack around europe
live on somebody's couch in seattle
live in the middle of the desert in the southwest
shave your head
dye your hair blue
leave in the middle of the night
lose 150 pounds
crash two months with your friends in the virgin islands
learn to surf
go to burning man
live out of the back of your car
learn a martial art
live in another country and learn the language
go to newfoundland
ride your motorcycle around the country
learn to repair what breaks
run for office
go to chile, next to the ocean, where it rains all the time and there's just that small strip of sand between the forest and the rocks
quit yr job
drive long distances for love; drink coffee and don't sleep
go to new zealand
learn to juggle
leave without saying goodbye
sail around the world
watch all three of the lord of the rings movies in a row
do acid, ecstasy, and peyote
write the book
stand behind a waterfall
take the train
run
run.



in the book of rope, three tests
for every knot: is it easy to tie?
will it stay tied firmly in use,
and will it be, finally, easy to untie?

which knot have we chosen?
and what else sadly should we know?

6:41pm: this time around
Hi everybody.

This time, I'm volunteering.  I'm starting now. 
This time, I swear to God, a difference is going to be made.

Yrs,
-P.

11:55pm: first snow!


finally.  the first real snow in the twin cities.  :)

in honor of such, a poem, lifted shamelessly from the front page of the loft, and credited to one katrina vandenberg.

plus also, happy new year.  maybe this one will be better than the last, and etc.



First Snowfall in Saint Paul
        by Katrina Vandenberg

This morning in the untouched lots
        of Target, St. Agnes, and Lake
                Phalen, girls all over the city
                        in the first snowfall
                of their sixteenth year are being asked
        by brothers, fathers—my cousin
Warren—to drive too fast then lock
        their brakes, to teach them how to right
                themselves. The whine of the wheels, the jerk
                                when they catch—from Sears to Como Park
                        to Harding High, the smoke
                that bellows from their lungs,
                        the silver sets of jagged
                                keys, the spray of snow,
                                        the driver’s seat, the encouraging Go

4:28pm: happy birthday to me!
today I am 24 years old.  huh.

in honor of this auspicious day, I present to you, my loving friends, a token of the perpetual esteem in which I hold you all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D43yn6g6pb4

(thanks, little brother).

7:13pm: time magazine and I? on the same page.

so, not only am I the person of the year (well, okay, so are you), but my pick for best-book-I-read-this-year is also Time magazine's pick for best book of 2006.  so there.

this book just keeps getting awards.  what does this mean?  it means that all you people (and you know who you are) who said that  graphic novels are lame, particularly memoirs by lesbian cartoonists, and that this book couldn't possibly be Real Literature and would be a waste of time to read, are wrong.  yep.  all of you.  wrong.

but I tell you what: it's okay!  I forgive you!  alison bechdel forgives you!  now, read the damn book!

5:38pm: this is a fun game.


best book you read this year?

mine's Fun Home, by one Alison Bechdel. you can read salon's brief description/review here, though you might have to watch a little advertisement first if you're not a salon member, and who is really? (it won best nonfiction debut).

seriously. tell me your best book this year. it doesn't have to have come out this year, though mine did. I can't promise to buy all of them (as I am, as previously mentioned, two steps from the poorhouse), but I'll at least check them out from the library.

etc, et al.

p.s., that other book mentioned in that salon article looks good too. anybody read it?

5:12am: o discordia.




well, I didn't get the job. and now I'm broke and directionless. apparently I'd been counting on getting it more than I thought I had been.

so, if anybody hears about any job openings in the publishing world, he or she should let me know.

or, y'know, any job openings at the mcdonalds. cause I ain't makin that broke shit up.

etc, and so on.

yrs, with regrets.
and all that.

9:20pm: OMG HILARIOUS.
http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html

****
in other news, my heart breaks to inform you that pitchfork was right.  the new damien rice album is, in fact, bad.  (except that one song!  which is good!)  it's hard to say whether my heart breaks more because the album is bad or because pitchfork was right about it.

anyway, thanks and appreciation to the people who wished me well regarding my publishing job interview.  I still don't know whether I got the job.  however, I sure did have three interviews.  I would like to point out two things:  one, it's not like I'm applying to be secretary general of the UN (and speaking of that, it upsets me a little that now Macalester's most famous alum is only a *former* secretary general.  I think they're finally going to have to come up with someone else.), and two, I've been informed that there were only two of us who made it to the third interview, which has really put me into bad-reality-show survival mode, and besides I really think there should be some sort of consolation prize for the one of us who doesn't get this job.  I mean, it's been a month and a half now.  when the other guy wins the brand new 2007 saturn sky roadster, I'm gonna be clamoring for my discounted-hair-products-gift-bag.


I love all y'all.  please stay warm.

11:38pm: things I hope you never need to know.


Nick's right. may it never be situationally appropriate, but read it anyway.

1:28pm: ReaL Job?


So, in about two hours I'm having my second interview for a real job in the publishing industry.  Specifically, for a "development associate" position, which means fundraising.  Specifically, with these people.

Now, I'm not sure how many of you know what I've been doing the last couple years, but basically, after serving as the poetry editor at The Butcher Shop, a well-meaning, ill-fated, possibly-now-defunct, so obscure I can't even find the link for it anymore literary magazine during my last year of college, I decided that this was what I wanted to do forever.  It's a comforting feeling, actually.  I'm not sure if any of you have ever had it.  I sure hadn't.  In any case, it being nearly-impossible to make a living this way, I began plugging away very slowly, and possibly sometime when I'm 60 it'll become a profitable endeavor.  After The Butcher Shop I worked at Open 24 Hours, a lit mag in my hometown which is actually pretty well established and kind of a major player in the local lit community.  Currently I'm working on starting my own journal, a little on-line creature I'm planning to call Holler Magazine.  Cause then you have "holler" in the sense of yell, and "holler" in the kentucky sense which means both "empty" and "the hollowed out space between mountains where families and communities often make their homes."  For example, Loretta Lynn was born in Butcher Holler.  Anyhow, that's what I'm doing and I'm really crazy excited about it and if you know anything about web design or want to get in on the editorial action just give me a yell.

So those are my lit mags, but since it's impossible to make a Living that way, I started hitting up the small presses (which, I now know, prefer to be called "independent.").  If you don't know what I'm talking about here, let me tell you that independent (mhm) presses are publishing some of the most amazing, creative, and important literature happening today.  Let's make some kind of record-label analogy here.  The big labels don't give new people a chance.  The big labels are too corporate-managed and profit-focused and therefore get very much stuck into certain routines.  The small labels, however, are still staffed by people who love music and want to share it with the world.  See what I mean?  Now, let me also tell you that independent presses are the people who'd publish I'd say 80% of all the contemporary poetry happening today, the other 20% being Billy Collins, and they can have him and good riddance.  So, I started looking at independent presses for jobs.  But, because Everyone wants jobs here, you have to do your time at the bottom of the food chain.  I had one unpaid internship last spring and summer with CavanKerry Press , and I did some really cool things which I'll tell you about some time if you ask me.  I'm currently serving my second unpaid internship with Coffee House Press.  The only reason I moved back to this godforsaken, frozen witch's teat, hellhole of a state is for the amazing literary community that exists in the Twin Cities (and the state's progressive politics).  I feel like getting a job in this industry is basically just a matter of making friends with everyone you can (they're all one big family), and then being around and available when a job opens up.  So I've been trying, and now I have this callback interview, and we'll see.

And, y'know, development isn't even really what I want to do.  My love is in the editorial side of things.  But in my experience, particularly at Coffee House, I love working at these places so goddamn much that I even love making copies of things and licking envelopes.  I just love to be in that environment with people who also love it and we're doing some great things together.  Seriously, I have never experienced so much job fulfillment.  If only they paid me for it.

Ok.  Now I've spent too long typing this entry and I've thrown off my carefully planned morning routine.  It's time to hit up the shower.

I love all, y'all, baby.  I love all of ya.  Let's go on one, ready?  Break.


p.s. my lady left for thanksgiving and I miss her.  :(

7:15pm: sigh.
Hey y'all.

So, I'm not sure how many of you know about my guilty lesbian pleasure, The L Word. Actually I'm going to rephrase that, because I don't feel guilty about that in the slightest. Anyway, it's a Showtime show about a bunch of lesbians who live in L.A. I was about to tell you that the first season was the best one and that it's been going progressively downhill... but then I thought, actually, the first season wasn't that great either. In any case, it's been going downhill. Has that stopped me from watching it? Not at all! Here's a big reason why:

























That said. Near the end of last season a character died. Tragic, mildly unexpected, etc etc. Oh, but it didn't end there. In the episode after that one, she came back. And when I say she came back, I mean SHE APPEARED TO SOMEONE IN A WATERFALL! That's right. Mhm. And when she Appeared, she came with the flowy arms and flowy clothes and everything. It was unbelievable.

However, not as unbelievable as the fact that the list of guest stars for the first episode of the next season includes her name. I can't imagine. Is this waterfall going to be a recurring location? Is she going to start following people around in the manner of blueghost!Obi-Wan? (oh, yes, I've read my fanfic). ARE THEY GOING TO BRING HER BACK FROM THE DEAD???

I mean, this show is a really good idea. It's a mostly (though debatably) realistic portrayal of a bunch of lesbians. I imagine it's done a lot towards cultural acceptance and etc. The cast is hot as hell, and it's on Showtime so it gets to be sexy. I can't imagine that it's not a moneymaker - I don't know a lesbian who doesn't watch it, and besides that I'm sure it plays well to college boys and etc. So, I ask you, HOW ARE THEY MANAGING TO SCREW THIS UP?


Really, it's beyond me.

9:19pm: one of these things will probably interest you.


did everybody know about this but me?  the bus that goes nonstop straight from minneapolis to chicago for $25?  and between other cities as well?  how 'bout that?

***

um, the other thing is that amanda and I have instituted documentary night, in which we watch a documentary.  I've been pushing to institute libations at these gatherings as well, but it has yet to come together.  I say this because, do you have any suggestions?  we've only been doing it for a few weeks, but thus far we've consumed:

- Supersize Me : about what I expected: educational, surprising, gross, and amusing.  also, his girlfriend is the worst.  I bet she's awful in bed.

- March of the Penguins : this one I'd seen before but amanda and breanne hadn't.  awfully beautiful and touching as well.  what I hadn't seen before was the amazing bonus material with the most pompous-ass french filmmaker I've ever encountered ever.  hurrah.

- Metallica: Some Kind of Monster : yes, the Metallica rockumentary.  what can I say?  it's just as wonderful as you think it will be.  also, now all I want is to see Metallica in concert.  and do that hand sign the whole time.

next up: Sherman's March.  we haven't watched it yet, but this was one of my picks and I think amanda's being tolerant at best.  apparently it's about this guy who sets out to make a documentary about the lingering effects of Sherman's path of destruction, but then his girlfriend breaks up with him, and then the documentary is kind of about those two things together.  it's supposed to be angsty and good.  I'm sure I'll think so.

also on the list:
(most of these are my picks only because I've gotten more into the list than amanda has, so don't judge her for my poor taste.  you can, however, judge her for Trekkies and The Eyes of Tammy Faye.)

Trekkies
Grey Gardens
The Eyes of Tammy Faye
What the Bleep Do We Know?  (not really a documentary, I know, but close!)
The Devil and Daniel Johnston
The Rolling Stones: Gimme Shelter
No Direction Home: Bob Dylan
The Gleaners and I
Grizzly Man
Trembling Before G-d
The Agressives
Paris is Burning

not on the list only because Netflix doesn't have them:

Looking for Richard
Hands on a Hard Body (not porn.  about that truck contest in texas where the last person with his/her hand on the truck wins it.)
Teenage Texas Virgins (again, not porn.  about those crazy kids in texas who Save Themselves for Marriage.  is there a texas theme here?  I can only hope).

9:57am: well, so much for that updating every day thing.


but, y'know?  what the hell.  that's what I say, friends.

let's have the obligatory moment of blog celebration:  Hurrah for the brand new Democratic Congress!  Hurrah for the ignoble retreat of the Rum-sfeld!  Hurrah for the Great Progressive Hope!

and the obligatory moment of blog sadness:  Damn those gay-marriage-banning states!  Damn that Tim Pawlenty, and that Michele Bachman!  And for you Kentuckians... (are there any Kentuckians who read this?)... Damn that goddamned moron Ron Lewis!


That said, let's talk about music for a minute.  Cause there are a few songs I've heard lately that are Really Quite Good.  What are they, you ask?  Well, I don't mind telling you:

Damien Rice - 9 Crimes.   Yes, you liked O, and you listened to it a lot, and then you just kind of moved on because really, it's all the same song.  Let's take a minute, friends, and remember that it was in fact a damn good song.  So is this one.

The Decemberists - The Crane Wife 3.  If you're like me (and I'm not saying you are), The Decemberists seemed like a really great idea and then somehow they lost their charm.  And of course I still love the good ones from Castaways... and all the ones from 5 Songs, and then I kind of like a couple from Her Majesty... and one from Picaresque, and I never even bought that 20 minute long thing... you know how it goes.  If I could put this feeling into words I think I would say that I have enough Decemberists, thank you, and I'll just stick with what I've got and they can keep going.  HOWEVER! I heard the above song on the Current yesterday and was charmed, smitten, heartbroken.  Check it out.

The new Joanna Newsom Album, Ys.  This shouldn't be surprising to anyone.  And yes, I am in illegal possession of this album, as it technically hasn't been released yet.  However, this album is so good that I might just purchase it legally as well.  When it comes out, on November 14.


Um... that's all for now?   That's all for now.  You kids take it easy.

9:22am:
EVERYBODY VOTE.

7:23pm:

10:26pm: this is the midnight train to georgia. so fuck off, yankees.


some wisdom from the voice of the city.  or rather, its subway conductors:


Conductor: This is an express, uptown C train. You heard right: an express C train. Next stop: 125th Street. If you need local service on the Upper West Side, please transfer across the platform to the D, as in "Daddy done did it" or B, as in "bad boy Bobby Brown" train.
--C train, 59th St

Conductor: This is a Brooklyn bound B train. Like bitch.
--B train

Conductor: We are currently being held in the station because of some other A train fucking us all over.
--Uptown A train

Conductor: Never give up on life. Keep hope alive. This is 30th Avenue.
--N train, Astoria

Conductor: Thank you for riding the C train and remember: smile and the world smiles with you.
--C train

Conductor: You can switch to the A train across the platform. However, I would much rather you stay on this train.
--Downtown C train, 14th St

Conductor: This train is very crowded. If you cannot fit, please step back and wait for the next train. If you manage to get onto this very crowded train, look at the person next to you and tell them, "Howdy!"
--Queens bound F train

Conductor: Step in and stand clear of the good news.
--F train, 34th St

Conductor: Hello, and welcome to the mobile sauna bath.
--A train

Conductor: This is 175th Street. This is an A train to...This is an A train to... to nothing! Hey, does anyone know where we're going?
--A train, 175th St

Conductor: All right, there's a 3 train across the platform. Hurry up and make your connection, people. Get to steppin', get to steppin'!
--1 train, Times Square

Conductor, angrily: Yo, stand clear o' the closing doors o' my choo-choo!
--PATH train


etc., and so on.

p.s. selfishside's taking the GRE literature subject test tomorrow.  wish her luck and send her flowers.

9:00pm: sordid details following...


Your daily serving of crazy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r44OFO-MNPo


one of my favorite songs, as well.  and if you ever wondered when music videos *really* moved beyond footage of bands singing songs?  right here, baby.  right here.

oh, feel free to disagree with me.  and provide evidence.  that'll be a good time all around.  :)


p.s. turns out I probably won't be participating in NaNoWriMo after all.  turns out writing on my livejournal once a day is quite enough for me, thank you very much.  but somebody else should, and then I could read your novel.

11:15pm: NaBloPoMo Entry #1
so, here's how this is going to work. my government teacher in high school had us bring in "tidbits" every day. actually, we got to take turns. little interesting things, stories, pictures, etc. and that's how I'm going to run this show for the next month. you'll have a nice tidbit every day. sometimes, after the tidbit, there will be a little news about my life, or etc. how's that sound?

so. tonight's dish, to kick things off in style, is (one of) my favorite poem(s) ever.  I present to you:



    For Hans Carossa


    Losing too is still ours; and even forgetting
    still has a shape in the kindgdom of transformation.
    When something's let go of, it circles; and though we are
        rarely the center
    of the circle, it draws around us its unbroken, marvelous
        curve.


    - Rainer Maria Rilke
       Translated by Stephen Mitchell




that's all, then. see you tomorrow.

3:27pm: this should be a good time for everyone concerned
http://www.fussy.org/nablopomo.html

I'm in! how's about dragging down the rest of your scrawny behinds?

enough. I'm sure you'll be hearing from me soon.

7:50pm: it's done!
dear friends,

to those of you who participated in my most excellent communal sex-mix-making project, good news!  it's done.  not all of the selections were used.  some people's selections weren't used at all.  *all* of the selections were loved, appreciated, and let down gently.  space and tone constraints prevented me from making everyone happy.  regardless, *everyone* who suggested a song gets a cd.  I just finished burning them a couple minutes ago.  what I need now are your *addresses*.  feel free to email them to pollycarden[at]gmail.com if you'd rather not post them on the ol' livejournal.

those of you who missed out on the fun - you're in luck!  I have some extras.  there are six of them, and they all have this one song with this really irritating 1.5 minute pause at the end.  it hurts the mood, and I'd forgotten that it was in there.  I fixed it in everyone else's, but I still have these flawed ones.  and, hey, flawed sex is better than no sex at all!  email me if you'd like one.

I had a lot of fun on this project.  I was quite surprised by some people's selections, and pleasantly reminded by others'.

that is to say, it was good for me.  hope it's good for you, too.  even if it's only you and your over-worked right hand.  ;)

yrs
-polly.

p.s. Hank and Amber - I have yours already.

p.p.s.  anybody got any title suggestions?

10:08am: in the interest of posterity, and today being the day it is, etc.

SUBMISSIONS PERIOD CLOSED, PRODUCT FORTHCOMING

hello friends,

for those of you who might not know, I'm currently on the downhill side of the crazy trifecta of momentous events that occurs this time in september.  the 9th of september marked (this year) 15 years since my mom died.  the 10th of september was amanda's and my two year anniversary.  and today, of course, is september 11th. 

therefore, in acknowledgement of all this mortality, tragedy, and suffering, in affirmation of love and life in spite of (or perhaps because of) all this death, and as something of a giant middle finger raised happily, joyfully, to the heavens and our detractors, we (that is, I, and you) are going to make a mix tape.  or we would, if I still had a tape player, so instead we're going to make a mix cd.  a life-affirming mix cd.  and what, I ask you, is more life-affirming than a good fuck?  whether with a partner, two three partners, or all by yourself.  making out, making love, gettin' it on.

so I humbly ask for your submissions in re: the best songs to fuck to.  feel free to submit more than one (please don't submit more than 5).  I'll take hot and fast and hot and slow, but they have to be (at least in your opinion) really hot.  remember, people, nothing's hotter than sex with someone you love, but this isn't about love - this is about sex.  so, sweet and sexy is great, but you can keep the cuddly lovey songs for another day.  when I have your submissions I'll put this cd together, and everyone who sends me a recommendation, even if I don't use it, gets a copy of the cd (yes, because I love you, and let love increase).  for my part, I'd like to add:


passenger - the deftones
woman like a man - damien rice
sea and the rhythm - iron and wine
I'm your man - leonard cohen


aye, verily.  and yrs of course
-polly.


from amber:
spread - andre 3000
inertia creeps - massive attack
sweet virginia - gomez
sensual woman - somebody from the snatch soundtrack
you can leave your hat on - tom jones

from lauren:
spread your love - black rebel motorcycle club

from amanda:
bodies - soul miner's daughter
drive - melissa ferrick

from clayton:
I shot the sheriff - eric clapton version
let go - frou frou
crazy - gnarles barkely
the woman in you - ben harper
that's what it's made for - usher
let's get lifted - john legend
inside and out - feist version